Saturday, 20 October 2012

Blogging eh?

I get this feeling that I'm just not cut out for this blogging mallarkey. I have no continuity about me, basically it's a tad pathetic. However, in my defence, I am a bit of an anarchist, so structured "stuff" like, do this now and then do that, is a bit of an anathema. Seriously, I won't be told.

Witness this, just the other day, a rather ancient lady said, "Here you! What are you doing?" To which I replied, nothing. What happened was, I appeared from an area of garden belonging to my oldest (sorry longest) client that was very apparent to the "general public". Said woman had a walking stick and proffered it in my direction saying,

"I shall hit you with this if you don't explain yourself."

Now, I would quite simply have explained to the said lady that I was in fact the gardener of the house and grounds in front of her very face, BUT, I couldn't be bothered.

"Who do you think you are?"

Again, what a crap question to ask of an anarchist - whether said anarchist  was in that space relevantly or not, is beside the point. At this juncture I should say that I was in fact quite legitimately dumping some debris from said garden in a perfectly legal site.

Once again the old lady touted the aforementioned walking stick in my face.

"Please," I said, "stop that." I could have scripted the reply.

"Oh, I shall hit you if you do not explain yourself."

"I don't think so," I replied. "I am the gardener here and if you even attempted to hit me, I don't think it would have succeeded."

"I am a very successful shot you know," she replied.

I wanted to say, "Fuck off you ancient waste of space; you left over piece of upper middle class Tory trash." But I smiled and said, "Seems we have had a bit of a misunderstanding, peace be with you."

She seemed to be appeased, but walked off swishing the stick in a very Errol Flynn stylee. Real life is so much more weirder than the made-up stuff.

Here some pix, my brethren:

You see this is where i go wrong all the time, I forget to take before
pictures, so trust me, this was very untidy before I weaved my magic.

Wish I knew the name of more shrubs - this is at Rebecca's in
Quainton - and I cut it back quite dramatically last year, don't it look good?
(Picture taken about four weeks ago.)

Newest garden - about four weeks ago - and a freshly cut lawn, mmmm...

The above three pictures are of the Laurel hedge at Quainton. I have
taken off about four foot to allow a bit more sunshine into the garden and,
more importantly, at the front of the house.
Oh, isn't it just soooooo lovely?

Thing is, it bloody damn well is!

I Thannnnnyou... Garden on xxx


  1. Blimey, never realised that gardening in Hertfordshire was such a perilous activity. Perhaps you could get some business cards printed announcing 'Simon Murray, Landscape Gardener and All-Round Good Egg' to proffer to the next walking stick-wielding geriatric who sticks their nose in yer bizzy-ness?
    Just a thought...

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