Friday, 25 February 2011

Democracy gives you...


That really depresses me. I've never really been that much on the side of democracy. It always sounds good doesn't it? But what does democracy actually give to the working individual?

The things I cherish in the UK are the Welfare State and the NHS, a concept that Americans seem to think are alien to democracy. So we make contingencies to look after the have nots. Is that such a bad thing? We cope with the fact that a few people may take advantage of that thing that is called the "system" - perhaps 500,000 "scroungers" - is that such a bad thing if all those that actually are genuine are looked after? 

Maybe democracy over here means a different thing to what it means over there. But, then again what democracy here means must differ wildly to it's meaning in Egypt, Tunisia, Bahrain, Iran, UAE, Libya et al. What is it they want? Freedom from oppressive regimes, to be able to demonstrate without the threat of being bludgeoned to death or shot or taken away to be raped, tortured or to have one's children subjected to these things.

I have friends who are communists; I have friends who are socialists; I have friends who are liberals, I have friends who are humanists and I have friends who, like me, are anarchists, but personally my own personal sham(e) of voting is all "voted out". 20 years ago if I was to vote with my heart it would have been Labour, but Labour doesn't mean what it did. I look at Bob Crow and I see a "good geezer" and I want him to shut down the country; close the ports, close the railways, it's all we have left. I would have no problem seeing the country "held to ransom" by the unions again, but the Daily Mail curtain twitchers would get all outraged... 

Petrol prices are about to truly go through the roof. Will the lovely people from the Road Haulage Association be out on the highways and byways shutting down the road system this time? No, 'cos the people they bank roll are in power now and they'd look really stupid wouldn't they? 

So democracy, not sure what it is, but I think the people of Libya would be better off with it, whatever form of it they decide on. And that's the point, it's what the people of Libya want that matters, NOT the oil-dependant mealy mouthed West.

Peace innit...

Mid-Summer Murder Mystery Pt 9

I've jumped to the last two parts as I think it's gonna take too long to get there!
So here we go...

Natalie So, let me hear this again. You’re going to dig up plot 13 ‘cos the Trugmore Lane Allotment Society think there’s a body under the beans?

Jake Yes

Natalie Why you?

Jake Because (pause) They claim they haven’t seen his wife in days, Jill says weeks actually. And he has not been shouting at her on his phone too

Natalie That, doesn’t answer, why you?

Jake I don’t know. Just to stop them going on and on at me

Natalie That, is no excuse. It’s bloody madness, going out after midnight, blacked up wearing a freaking balaclava. You look like the Milk Tray man for pity’s sake

Jake Do I?

Natalie Stop it!

Jake Look I know it’s ridiculous, but we’ll get it done in no time with five of us

Natalie (exasperated) You shouldn’t even be contemplating it, let alone actually be on the verge of doing it

Jake Gotta go. Be back soon, shan’t kiss you, you’ll get covered in camouflage

Natalie (as door shuts quietly) 30 years, 30 bloody of years of this, I deserve time off for good behaviour

(we hear Jake walking slowly along the road. A car goes passed)

Jake Shit! Phew, why am I doing this again? Natalie is right, this is so stupid as to be beyond stupid. More stupid than the most stupid man in Stupidland

Tom Hey! How you doing Milk Tray man

Jake (obviously scared out of his mind) Sweet Jeepers Creepers, you trying to kill me? Don’t do that!

Tom Oops, a bit jumpy

Jake No! (pause) Yeah, look I’m going home, this is so dumb. I have no idea why I agreed to do this

Tom Because you are community minded and it’s-

Jake Community?

Tom (changing subject & sounds enthusiastic) Hey there Jack, Jill!

Jack Hello-

Jill Exciting isn’t it?

Jake No

Tom Ignore him

Jack Come on, Felicity will be waiting

Jill It’s like being in a film

Jack The Magnificent Seven

Jake (irritated) There’s only five of us

Jill No, Ocean’s 12

Jake (louder) There’s only five of us

Tom Shhhhhhh, we need to be quiet, ruthless, straight in, dig, check out the hole, fill it in, sraight out again. Simple!

Jack Five in a Hole (Jack & Jill laugh)

Jake At least you got the number right this time, but there’s no such film or book even

Tom Look, there’s Felicity, very fecthing in her camouflage gear

Jake Not too late to turn back

Jack Pardon?

Jake Nothing

Felicity (whispering) Is this where we synchronise watches

Jake What for? We’re going over there together

Felicity Of course, silly me. This feels like a film or a Secret Seven adventure

Jake Enid Blyton again. There’s only five of us Felicity

Felicity (laughs nervously) Yes, silly me

Jill Did you leave the spades where we agreed Tom?

Tom Check!

Jake Too loud

Tom Sorry, but there’s not gonna be anyone around, not in this town at this time and when was the last time you saw a cop car round here?

Jake Now, duck

(sound of a car driving passed slowly)

Felicity Oh my

Tom & Jake Shh...

Jill (giggles) Exciting

Tom Praise be to the council and this hedge

Jack What if they stop; what do we say?

Jill Trick or treat?