Oh the end is Bill Nighy...

Hmmmm, seems this year is determined to attempt to piss me right off, what with the rain, rain and more rain. But what the hey, we're all still alive; we're all having the proverbial laugh; Boris Johnson, well, err, just Boris Johnson really (cripes he's a twat isn't he, don't get why people love him so much, oaf); still have a roof over our heads (the windows and doors are a bit of a struggle, but at least we're dry); we have a number of parties to go to in the coming weeks; s'nice.

So, the last few weeks have been very busy, Saturday working to try and catch up on stuff so I can at least leave my regular smaller gardens in a tidy state until next March. It's a desperate race to do this in time for the beginning of November. Did I say desperate? Pah, just do it Murray is all!

Anyway, here are a few picture to show what's been happening:

The view from the roof at Quainton, looking down to the stables. It was very windy that day and I was holding on to the scaffolding for dear life - never been good with heights.

Lots of trimming and shaping of hedges over the weeks, this is Pat's place in Berkhamsted. My new Tanaka hedge trimmer is picture on the left and is a splendid addition to the Murray tool box, I actually love it, bizarre!

...a bit of topiary at Julie and Andrew's place in Buckland. No really enamoured of that sort of thing but I do actually quite like doing it. I think it appeals to my sense of putting things in order - bit fascist...

A newt. This is something I am generally in complete accordance with most Friday nights - and Saturday and possibly Wednesday or Tuesday too. I had disturbed this poor little fella while weeding the rockery at Buckland, she/he was very sleepy, so I made a new nest for him/her and sang, to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it": 
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.
Oh, it would be all right,
To stay out every night.
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.

So onwards to the end of another gardening year, my third and it has gone from strength to strength, even with the rubbish weather. The best thing of all is that I will have more than enough work for the winter too, four lovely big gardens with lots of lovely big trees and shrubs to tend to.

The newt lived by the way...

Happy happying...

Is it really that long since I did this?

Thing is, th'Limpits was actually quite good, especially the bit where we won stuff, but on a serious note, Seb Coe? Boris Johnson - what the freaking hell does he take to get like that and THAT hair, he must have got it from some obscure DIY shop, you know the sort, they sell individual nails and screws and they put things in brown paper bags still. 

BUT, the best moment was Gideon getting the bird from 80,000 in th'Limpit stadium - whose dumb idea was that, "Yes George, good PR, go to th'Limpits and stand out in the open with a gold trinket. That'll sort out all the problems and send us flying high in th'Pinion Polls." And one last thing before th'Limpits gets to Rio (what will they do with the kids on the streets this time?) if Cammo claims the Volunteers as an example of the Big Society one more time, I shall... Well, I shall! 

See, the thing is, people have "volunteered" to help others since time immemorial. From doing a bit of shopping for a sick or elderly, or both, neighbour to helping out on the school PTA to collecting jumble for some obscure cause you believe in or, wait for it, some needy political party that is struggling for support. Here is a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Lickle People Party (that's the Lib-Dems to you, 'cos at the next election that's what they'll be, Lickle... And if they actually call themselves The Lickle People Party they might just get a few sympathy votes.)

Since I was last here I have picked up two more gardens and have a very healthy full few weeks up 'til the end of October, which is good, as I have missed so many days over the summer - what summer? - don't think I've been so wet so frequently. Wetter than a wet thing that's been swimming, forgot their towel and then walked in the rain without a coat or umbrella-ella-ella-ella...

Anyhoo - why do I say that? Anyhoo, here be some pictures from the last six weeks or so:

Our own garden, looking  a tad unloved...

...bit of hedge trimming at home, busman's hols!!!

Some of the trees at Rebecca's in Quainton

Occasional work in Hudnall, just outside Berkhamsted - this
and next two shots

The new "big" house. This place is a beauty, about a mile from home and has so much grass and so many hedges they have one bloke to do the grass, one to do the hedges and me, to do the rest...

I actually trimmed this hedge, the longest single hedge I think
I've ever done. About 80 metres long - that pen houses the
pig, no not Boris or Osbourne, The Pig, see below...

I trained this clematis in the Spring - and it did what it was told

Tom & Vicky's place in Aldbury. I'm going to get rid of most of the gravel and enlarge the lawn area. Lawd knows when, but hopefully before the end of Autumn

A long bed at the new "big" house. Before...

The Pig...

A long bed at the new "big" house. After

New lawn needed methinks. Quainton again

The new "big" house.. Awright for some eh?

Me new bezzie. She's very old and very blind, bless...

So, there you have it, apologies for so many new pix, but I have been most neglectful during these past few weeks and felt the need to catch up.

Oh yeah, Th'Aralimpits, what an inspiration; what a cornucopia of togetherness; what a delight to see Ellie Simmond's smile again. Blind football? Wheelchair rugby? Archery without arms? You couldn't make it up...

Happy whatever!

Si-Botic

OK, so Th'limpits have started... Don't Panic!!!

Dear friends, Th'limpits are here, apparently they sneaked in under the radar yesterday afternoon with women playing football. Yes! You heard me correctly, women-playing-football. Back in my day such a thing would have been so frowned upon as to be akin to Sepp Blatter and the like accepting a bribe to stage the 2018 World Cup in Russia instead of dear old Hing-gerland - which would never happen! Also, the aforementioned gent would never suggest that women's football should attempt to become more popular by letting... "the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts." He would never say that.

Anyhoo, here are some more pictures of arrivals at The Stadia of Boyle: 

This is Camo-Daft Vadar, a shot putter of
some esteem from a little known country
called The Cockswolds 

Here we have the slightly reduced team of fencers from Titlandia.
Davo-Becko, Sebbo Collo and Eric Pickles are exceptional
at putting up a nice split-rail fence in no time. Indeed, any kind of 
fence, including, featherboard, palisade, jaktop or even a nice bit
of tongue and groove (Eric's speciality). A real prospect for gold...

Kellith de Holmo, seen here carrying Granto Shappo erstwhile
minnow for shelter in the Forest of No-hopers, looks bang on
for the first gold ever for carrying the can of shite - a new
discipline introduced for Th'limpits this time round. Mainly
because there is so shite to get rid of... 

Take it easy out there, you never know who you might bump into... 


Oh yeah, if you're not interested in Th'limpits, watch ITV.


Happy(?) 'limpitting...

COMING SOON... Star Wars at Th'limpits

A long time ago in a one-way system far, far away...

It is a period of unease. Lost bus drivers, driving in ever decreasing circles (or is it increasing?), have lost their first batch of athletes on their way to the evil 'limpit Village, the site of the Stadia of Boyle. During the trip, GeeESfor Exec-cutives manage to steal millions of pounds of the 'limpit Empire's fortunes and gain control of the ORBIT, an armored installation with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Colo races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the people of the 'limpits. . . . 


....but lo, ho, what is this sound of slime against tarmac? This disgusting pustulence trailing monster, with the breath of skank-ridden Thames water and Chateau-pap-de-bleurgh? It is the evil one that is Jonna-the-Hut. He spouts his indefinable gibberish, thus:

"Colo! Hay lapa no ya, Colo!

"Boonowa tweepi, ha, ha.

"Sebbo, mah bukee, keel-ee caleya ku kah. Wanta dah moole-rah? Wonkee chee sa crispa con Camero?"

(Loosely translated: Seb, what the fuck have you done to my town? I told you to build it in Lego you twat-faced Chelsea supporting grease ball. I tell you this I'm off to tell Camo, he'll know how to sort your fucking arse out baby!)

Next time: Th'limpits A Guide

Normal Service will be resumed shortly, in approximately 24 days...

See fah luto eetheen, ee yaba ma dukey massa. Eeth wong che coh pa na-geen, nah meeto toe bunky dunko. Lo choda!

(Translation: "Fuck you, no it won't" said Jonna, dribbling...)

Ahhhhhh... Boring it is now...

...to visit this place of the 'limpits. Why so much wet? Wet is here too much; end when will it?


The 'limpits commence are soon and The Limpitians all arrive here these shores soon, but ready are you not. Theresa May-Not says well everything with Troopers of the Imperial Storm, but delivery of Limpitians forever take through entry at the Row of Heath. One wonders how The Limpitians to get the Stadia of Boyle when bridges do crack and roads wend wearily through the Valley of Congestionia. The dark force is truly here betiding the woes of humanity and Jonna the Boris-Hut.


With you are my thoughts of which I share the words of wise from Jonna, "I want to assume supreme power", for they convey my feelings of foreboding that all is not well in the Garden of the Stadia of Boyle...


"Good relations with the Wookiees, I have... Size matters not!"


May the froth be with you... Happy 'limpits!