Saturday, 23 April 2011

Some trivialities from the life of a gardener, April 2011

I seemed to cut lots of grass this week. This is something I am very good at - despite the idiot who claimed I must have used a combine harvester to perform the deed a couple of weeks ago. (Currently listening to a programme on Carl Sagan, a true communicator of such vastness as to swamp people who drive combine harvesters, let alone make stupid comments about cutting grass with one...)


Halfway at Pat's - on the main lawn

The combine harvester has nothing on this finish


Even on a bit of "grass" full of moss, clover, buttercups, dandelions and lord knows what and that has NOT been touched for a rather long time, not a bad cut...




As you can guess I have been somewhat annoyed by a comment regarding combine harvesters and grass cutting, the details are menial, but I have to make a point because I am stupid like that! As Carl Sagan said, "We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology." Or cutting grass...


Happy mowning...

In celebration of a great occasion...

I feel I should post something fitting in honour of next Friday, so here's my lunch from last Thursday 21st April 2011:






Yes, a cheese and coleslaw sandwich with steel toe capped boots, as you can possibly see the toecaps are worn away from so much kneeling.


Happy wedded bliss!

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Any ideas what this is?

I know I should know, but I just can't remember what this fella is:




Thanks for your help!

If you see this man...

...and he asks to be in your film, tell him to make his own...






And to get a suit that fits.


Happy snapping!

Monday, 18 April 2011

RECENTLY ON THIS SHOW...

...I have been attempting to upload some pictures of current works in progress, but for some reason the software will not allow me to upload them in the order I want. I hate computers. It's something like Basil Fawlty with the car, "Right, I've told you time and time again..."




So, here we go... Actually no, just before I do, has anybody noticed how politicians and suchlike (scientists are good at this too) start answers to questions with either the word, "so" or "look"? Apologies for doing that above, I didn't mean to. Tony Blair started the "look" thing and I think the "so" thing came from across the pond, same difference I guess.

Anyway, here I go, wish me luck and I will see you in a bit... Ooo, it worked, I'm so happy!


I was asked to "get rid" of the two shrubs to the right of the 400 year old tree in this central bed of the main lawn at one of my gardens (huh, MY garden...)


Chop, chop...

...cut, cut...

...et hé voilà, allé, souffler !


I sometimes see some lovely things whilst driving from garden to garden, including this rather super Triumph TR4 and...

...this cheeky heron (out of focus 'cos it was taken on my very ancient phone, Nokia N70 with the numbers and letters all blended into one blob.) Anyhow, ain't he lovely?

Funny the things that make you happy. My kids and grandchildren make me happiest, there can be no doubt, but sometimes I can be working away with a fork, a spade, a rake or a hoe, hoe, hoe and this little animal or that; a robin or a blackbird (singing in the dead of night); a rabbit or a vole dashing in front of the car; give me a little bit of a buzz of warmth. And then you listen to the radio and hear a 14 year old failed suicide bomber talking about the loss of his arm and stomach and his regrets for being talked in to doing the deed. And the fact that a 10 year old actually succeeded doing the same thing and killed 50. Frightening...

Confused? You will be...

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Oh my, I have so much I want to write about...

...but I just seem to have no time at the moment - or maybe I'm too drunk. It's just bollocks really, Chelsea and all that Chump-yuns League stuff and paying enough money for a player to build half a hospital wing and then, tonight the Lib-Dems knocked on my door and this is the "conversation":


(knock, knock - door opens)


Lib-Dem bloke (spotty herbert with a really stupidly big grin) Hi! We're from the    Lib-


Me Fuck off!


(door slams)


So rude I know, but I just can not tolerate these people on my doorstep, because basically it's my doorstep and they do not deserve to be standing on it. The other guy looked like William Hague with hair, my God, do not come knocking on my door looking like William Hague with hair. Jeez, he even had a trench coat on, what the hell is THAT all about?


Politics eh?


Smells like compost...