Automne; Herbst; Autunno; Otoño; Φθινόπωρο

Autumn eh?

Yep truly here and what does that bring? I'll tell you what it brings

LEAVES; Feuilles; Blätter; Congedi; Hojas; पत्ते
Doesn't matter how one dresses it up, bloody leaves are everywhere. I go to sleep dreaming of 'em; I wake up thinking of 'em; my car is covered in 'em and the bloody kitten keeps bringing 'em into the house like she's caught, gutted and filleted a giraffe. So proud of herself...

Fog; mist; mizzly rain and that's just in the car. Oh yeah, the car that just cost £277.01 to get through it's MoT - where the hell do these people get a penny from?

Anyway, the great clear up will continue through to next Spring, so at least I have a job for the Winter. Got lots of trimming and pruning to do too. Odds on it's gonna be a mild Winter after the weird Summer.

Pictures!

The finished laurel hedge at Quainton - that's about four foot off the top

And from the other side - this shows
the continuing dreadful mess from
the building works

A new compost area at Quainton, made
from an old one

Had to cut a path down to it and I really enjoyed it

Pleaching the limes at Dancer's End, slow at first, but I got the knack
of it in the end

Probably said before that heights don't like me. They make me fall off
things, it's never truly my fault...

Last few flowers at Pat's place, delightful - asters I think...

It was on the top of the gantry that Deirdre rang me to tell that our dear comrade from the Non-Stop Picket outside South Africa House, Andy Privett (nee Gardner) had suddenly died on Sunday21st October. He was a big, proud and loud gay guy who helped me through some bleak times in the late 80s, early 90s and I, along with many others, will miss him desperately.

He never stopped making me laugh... And buying
me drinks!

Bless you, you big ol' gay mate you!

Happy mincing, wherever you may be.

Blogging eh?

I get this feeling that I'm just not cut out for this blogging mallarkey. I have no continuity about me, basically it's a tad pathetic. However, in my defence, I am a bit of an anarchist, so structured "stuff" like, do this now and then do that, is a bit of an anathema. Seriously, I won't be told.

Witness this, just the other day, a rather ancient lady said, "Here you! What are you doing?" To which I replied, nothing. What happened was, I appeared from an area of garden belonging to my oldest (sorry longest) client that was very apparent to the "general public". Said woman had a walking stick and proffered it in my direction saying,

"I shall hit you with this if you don't explain yourself."

Now, I would quite simply have explained to the said lady that I was in fact the gardener of the house and grounds in front of her very face, BUT, I couldn't be bothered.

"Who do you think you are?"

Again, what a crap question to ask of an anarchist - whether said anarchist  was in that space relevantly or not, is beside the point. At this juncture I should say that I was in fact quite legitimately dumping some debris from said garden in a perfectly legal site.

Once again the old lady touted the aforementioned walking stick in my face.

"Please," I said, "stop that." I could have scripted the reply.

"Oh, I shall hit you if you do not explain yourself."

"I don't think so," I replied. "I am the gardener here and if you even attempted to hit me, I don't think it would have succeeded."

"I am a very successful shot you know," she replied.

I wanted to say, "Fuck off you ancient waste of space; you left over piece of upper middle class Tory trash." But I smiled and said, "Seems we have had a bit of a misunderstanding, peace be with you."

She seemed to be appeased, but walked off swishing the stick in a very Errol Flynn stylee. Real life is so much more weirder than the made-up stuff.

Here some pix, my brethren:

You see this is where i go wrong all the time, I forget to take before
pictures, so trust me, this was very untidy before I weaved my magic.

Wish I knew the name of more shrubs - this is at Rebecca's in
Quainton - and I cut it back quite dramatically last year, don't it look good?
(Picture taken about four weeks ago.)

Newest garden - about four weeks ago - and a freshly cut lawn, mmmm...

The above three pictures are of the Laurel hedge at Quainton. I have
taken off about four foot to allow a bit more sunshine into the garden and,
more importantly, at the front of the house.

Oh, isn't it just soooooo lovely?

Thing is, it bloody damn well is!

I Thannnnnyou... Garden on xxx

Oh the end is Bill Nighy...

Hmmmm, seems this year is determined to attempt to piss me right off, what with the rain, rain and more rain. But what the hey, we're all still alive; we're all having the proverbial laugh; Boris Johnson, well, err, just Boris Johnson really (cripes he's a twat isn't he, don't get why people love him so much, oaf); still have a roof over our heads (the windows and doors are a bit of a struggle, but at least we're dry); we have a number of parties to go to in the coming weeks; s'nice.

So, the last few weeks have been very busy, Saturday working to try and catch up on stuff so I can at least leave my regular smaller gardens in a tidy state until next March. It's a desperate race to do this in time for the beginning of November. Did I say desperate? Pah, just do it Murray is all!

Anyway, here are a few picture to show what's been happening:

The view from the roof at Quainton, looking down to the stables. It was very windy that day and I was holding on to the scaffolding for dear life - never been good with heights.

Lots of trimming and shaping of hedges over the weeks, this is Pat's place in Berkhamsted. My new Tanaka hedge trimmer is picture on the left and is a splendid addition to the Murray tool box, I actually love it, bizarre!

...a bit of topiary at Julie and Andrew's place in Buckland. No really enamoured of that sort of thing but I do actually quite like doing it. I think it appeals to my sense of putting things in order - bit fascist...

A newt. This is something I am generally in complete accordance with most Friday nights - and Saturday and possibly Wednesday or Tuesday too. I had disturbed this poor little fella while weeding the rockery at Buckland, she/he was very sleepy, so I made a new nest for him/her and sang, to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it": 
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.
Oh, it would be all right,
To stay out every night.
Oh, I wish I was a naughty, little newt.

So onwards to the end of another gardening year, my third and it has gone from strength to strength, even with the rubbish weather. The best thing of all is that I will have more than enough work for the winter too, four lovely big gardens with lots of lovely big trees and shrubs to tend to.

The newt lived by the way...

Happy happying...

Just a quickie...

...as I am rather excited by the discovery of a set of diaries I have stumbled upon. They are the diaries of an old school chum of mine, Daniel Peepes - yeah I know!

Thing is they are brilliant and run from 1st January 1973 - the year we left school - until the summer of 1979, when we lost touch. Daniel left the diaries with me, saying, "I'll be back to get them; keep 'em safe mate.." 

This is the only picture I have of Daniel - for some reason never Dan and most definitely NOT Danny.

Daniel Peepes, about Spring time 1973 - looks

like he's in prison, some would say he belonged there, even then!

I am trying to trace him, but so far no one knows what happened to him. I really want to find him and get his permission to publish these diaries, they are a gem of their time and I think they offer an insight into the world we lived in back in a decade that I sometimes think shouldn't have happened.

Jim''l Fix It indeed...

PS: New garden blog coming soon...

Is it really that long since I did this?

Thing is, th'Limpits was actually quite good, especially the bit where we won stuff, but on a serious note, Seb Coe? Boris Johnson - what the freaking hell does he take to get like that and THAT hair, he must have got it from some obscure DIY shop, you know the sort, they sell individual nails and screws and they put things in brown paper bags still. 

BUT, the best moment was Gideon getting the bird from 80,000 in th'Limpit stadium - whose dumb idea was that, "Yes George, good PR, go to th'Limpits and stand out in the open with a gold trinket. That'll sort out all the problems and send us flying high in th'Pinion Polls." And one last thing before th'Limpits gets to Rio (what will they do with the kids on the streets this time?) if Cammo claims the Volunteers as an example of the Big Society one more time, I shall... Well, I shall! 

See, the thing is, people have "volunteered" to help others since time immemorial. From doing a bit of shopping for a sick or elderly, or both, neighbour to helping out on the school PTA to collecting jumble for some obscure cause you believe in or, wait for it, some needy political party that is struggling for support. Here is a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Lickle People Party (that's the Lib-Dems to you, 'cos at the next election that's what they'll be, Lickle... And if they actually call themselves The Lickle People Party they might just get a few sympathy votes.)

Since I was last here I have picked up two more gardens and have a very healthy full few weeks up 'til the end of October, which is good, as I have missed so many days over the summer - what summer? - don't think I've been so wet so frequently. Wetter than a wet thing that's been swimming, forgot their towel and then walked in the rain without a coat or umbrella-ella-ella-ella...

Anyhoo - why do I say that? Anyhoo, here be some pictures from the last six weeks or so:

Our own garden, looking  a tad unloved...

...bit of hedge trimming at home, busman's hols!!!

Some of the trees at Rebecca's in Quainton

Occasional work in Hudnall, just outside Berkhamsted - this
and next two shots

The new "big" house. This place is a beauty, about a mile from home and has so much grass and so many hedges they have one bloke to do the grass, one to do the hedges and me, to do the rest...

I actually trimmed this hedge, the longest single hedge I think
I've ever done. About 80 metres long - that pen houses the
pig, no not Boris or Osbourne, The Pig, see below...

I trained this clematis in the Spring - and it did what it was told

Tom & Vicky's place in Aldbury. I'm going to get rid of most of the gravel and enlarge the lawn area. Lawd knows when, but hopefully before the end of Autumn

A long bed at the new "big" house. Before...

The Pig...

A long bed at the new "big" house. After

New lawn needed methinks. Quainton again

The new "big" house.. Awright for some eh?

Me new bezzie. She's very old and very blind, bless...

So, there you have it, apologies for so many new pix, but I have been most neglectful during these past few weeks and felt the need to catch up.

Oh yeah, Th'Aralimpits, what an inspiration; what a cornucopia of togetherness; what a delight to see Ellie Simmond's smile again. Blind football? Wheelchair rugby? Archery without arms? You couldn't make it up...

Happy whatever!

Si-Botic

OK, so Th'limpits have started... Don't Panic!!!

Dear friends, Th'limpits are here, apparently they sneaked in under the radar yesterday afternoon with women playing football. Yes! You heard me correctly, women-playing-football. Back in my day such a thing would have been so frowned upon as to be akin to Sepp Blatter and the like accepting a bribe to stage the 2018 World Cup in Russia instead of dear old Hing-gerland - which would never happen! Also, the aforementioned gent would never suggest that women's football should attempt to become more popular by letting... "the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts." He would never say that.

Anyhoo, here are some more pictures of arrivals at The Stadia of Boyle: 

This is Camo-Daft Vadar, a shot putter of
some esteem from a little known country
called The Cockswolds 

Here we have the slightly reduced team of fencers from Titlandia.
Davo-Becko, Sebbo Collo and Eric Pickles are exceptional
at putting up a nice split-rail fence in no time. Indeed, any kind of 
fence, including, featherboard, palisade, jaktop or even a nice bit
of tongue and groove (Eric's speciality). A real prospect for gold...

Kellith de Holmo, seen here carrying Granto Shappo erstwhile
minnow for shelter in the Forest of No-hopers, looks bang on
for the first gold ever for carrying the can of shite - a new
discipline introduced for Th'limpits this time round. Mainly
because there is so shite to get rid of... 

Take it easy out there, you never know who you might bump into... 


Oh yeah, if you're not interested in Th'limpits, watch ITV.


Happy(?) 'limpitting...

COMING SOON... Star Wars at Th'limpits

A long time ago in a one-way system far, far away...

It is a period of unease. Lost bus drivers, driving in ever decreasing circles (or is it increasing?), have lost their first batch of athletes on their way to the evil 'limpit Village, the site of the Stadia of Boyle. During the trip, GeeESfor Exec-cutives manage to steal millions of pounds of the 'limpit Empire's fortunes and gain control of the ORBIT, an armored installation with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Colo races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the people of the 'limpits. . . . 


....but lo, ho, what is this sound of slime against tarmac? This disgusting pustulence trailing monster, with the breath of skank-ridden Thames water and Chateau-pap-de-bleurgh? It is the evil one that is Jonna-the-Hut. He spouts his indefinable gibberish, thus:

"Colo! Hay lapa no ya, Colo!

"Boonowa tweepi, ha, ha.

"Sebbo, mah bukee, keel-ee caleya ku kah. Wanta dah moole-rah? Wonkee chee sa crispa con Camero?"

(Loosely translated: Seb, what the fuck have you done to my town? I told you to build it in Lego you twat-faced Chelsea supporting grease ball. I tell you this I'm off to tell Camo, he'll know how to sort your fucking arse out baby!)

Next time: Th'limpits A Guide

Normal Service will be resumed shortly, in approximately 24 days...

See fah luto eetheen, ee yaba ma dukey massa. Eeth wong che coh pa na-geen, nah meeto toe bunky dunko. Lo choda!

(Translation: "Fuck you, no it won't" said Jonna, dribbling...)